The List

Loves Jesus
stunning vocabulary
Listens
gentlemen
Sings hymns
Quotes scripture
Thinks creatively before acting
Passionate
Reads (poetry) out loud

Jesus, I know it doesn't matter much what I think. You know best. But you have given me a mind and a heart that can see and want. There are people in my life that not only fit this list, but they helped create it. They have done or said something that stirred something in my heart. Help me to focus on you and see people how you see them instead of through my list. Help the people who have everything to do with this list, continue to be them no matter their circumstances.

my words don't come out right before you and it is upsetting. I am so thankful that you see my heart and understand what I am saying before words get in the way.

Why am I unmotivated to do anything? I need to get a few papers done and the inspiration I am hoping to have is yet to come. Help me learn to work without out the need for motivation. Help me learn how to get things accomplished even when Im not "feeling it"

I'm a mess. A really bad one. I have slacked on everything, and now when its really important- I'm being sucky. I forgot to pay one of my bills and so it charged me. It charged me money I don't have. I had the money to pay the bill, but forgot. Irresponsible.

I borrowed money from Elise, I don't know when I will be able to pay her back.

I wanted to pride myself on my responsibleness. I wanted to show my family I could survive without them. Is that why I am not doing so good? You are the first person Ive told about this. I'm thinking I don't want anyone to know. Except you.

I don't know what to do Daddy. I'm scarred of debt. Im scarred of not being responsible. I don't like not being able to give money to people like the KK who want to help the people of Uganda, or take a friend out to lunch or coffee just to bless them. I love blessing people like that. I like doing it in your name, and they have no idea it was from me. Right now I want you to be glorified in my lack. It doesn't make any sense to me how you could do that. But I know that I am your beloved and you will provide for me, even if it isn't the way I think it should be. In my lack i want to praise you. In my debt I want to give you glory.
In my pain I will rejoice for you are good.
You are good in spite of how I act.
You are good when I don't think you should be.
You are good when no one else is.
You are good if I fail.
You are good if I win.
You are good when I suffer.
You are good in my lack.
You are good regardless of time, space, weather or circumstance.
Lord, you are good.

Forgive me as I learn to live my life in a way that proclaims that you are good.