Christmas

A few years ago I made the realization that if i wanted to be a certain person in 5 or 10 years, I needed to start becoming that person.

So I thought about it. I thought about who I wanted to be. What kind of character? What is important? What do I want to value? And then I took a good hard look at my life. I thought about who I was. What did I think was important? What was my character really like? What did I value?

What a shocker! It would be nice and easy to say that I was who I wanted to be, but alas... I was far from! So I started small, let those small things become habit and second nature and then worked on more stuff.

Then life happened. I forgot about my list and started trying to put out fires instead of living intentionally. The things that were habit, were second nature... they started to fade. I started becoming a person I didn't want to be without realizing it.

Until today. I realized it today.

I was hanging up 9 Christmas cards that we received from various friends and family. Some had heartfelt thoughts inside, some where the picture kind, but all of them reminded me that I wanted to send out Christmas cards every year. And I didn't.

I almost cried. I know that a lot of people don't send out cards and its not a big deal, but in my mind, people who send out cards have it together. They are on top of things. They planned for Christmas cards to be sent out and then executed the plan.

I feel inadequate.

And yes, Christmas cards are what made me rethink my entire philosophy on life. Who am I? What do I want to be? What kind of person?

Those are hard questions when I then have to face them and answer that who I am is in fact NOT who I want to be.

I want to speak truth into people's lives, even when its hard.
I want to be positive and loving.
I want to love on people who think they don't deserve it.
I want my husband to come home to a clean room.
I want to make the bed everyday.
I want to keep trash out of my car.
I want to keep in touch with friends.
I want to send out Christmas cards.

Small things really, but they are small things that really say something about a person. Defining things that mean a lot. If not to anyone else, they are important to me.

I wonder if it is socially acceptable to send out Christmas cards after Christmas is over? Would they then just be misplaced greeting cards?

Who do you want to be? Who are you now? What small changes can you make to move towards the person of character that you want?